Two weeks had passed, and Rachel made every effort to keep her life as quiet as possible. She silenced text notifications, left Ethan’s messages on read, declined Mike’s impromptu visits, and pretended everything was normal. She even tried to pretend she was normal. Knowing, deep down, that as soon as she dipped so much as a toe back into that world, she would be pulled under.
So Rachel ran from the temptation, convincing herself it was because she needed a break. That was at least in part true. But with the sudden lack of excitement, Rachel and Noah found themselves very preoccupied with each other.
Most nights ended in tangled sheets and breathless laughter. Sometimes it was fast and rough. Sometimes it was so slow that it felt like eternity. They’d fuck themselves to sleep, only to wake up in the night and find each other again. They would hold each other tightly in the morning as the sun rose overhead. Whispering words that made Rachel wonder if she was still dreaming.
She liked the version of herself that existed between only them. It felt nice to know that if she only saw Noah, she would be happy.
And while things were good between them, it didn’t take away all of their plights, Rachel’s newfound problem with Mel being one of them. Ever since Mel had decided to start giving Noah attention, Rachel found herself avoiding bringing him back to her apartment altogether. She kept telling herself it was because of the commute. That Noah’s on-campus dorm was so much more convenient.
That it had nothing to do with Mel whatsoever.
She told herself she couldn’t care less about how Mel had looked at Noah. She told herself that their breakfast meant nothing, and she wouldn’t have a problem if they had done it again.
And yet, they continued to frequent Noah’s much smaller shared dorm out of convenience. Today’s excuse was that they had gotten lunch on campus. And when Noah had suggested going back to her place to watch movies together, Rachel quickly countered by saying she would prefer to watch something on his bed together.
“Are… are you sure?” Noah asked, a little surprised.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Rachel said.
“Well, it’s just… You always liked the bigger screen at your place.”
Rachel laughed nonchalantly. “People can change their minds, Noah.”
Noah laughed in response, squeezing her hands gently as they neared his dorm room.
“Ready to face the dragon?” He said with a grin.
“Oh, Fred’s not that bad,” Rachel said.
“Famous last words, he’s been in one of his moods lately,” Noah said, pulling out his keys from his pocket.
Joking with Noah about Fred was easy, but dealing with him was a different story. He was harmless, if you could tolerate his whining, blunt opinions, and that faint body odor that clung to him like cologne. But, in the right mood, with the right people, he could almost be pleasant.
Almost.
They’d managed to avoid him the last few weeks by planning their visits around his schedule. But when they inevitably crossed paths, Fred always found a way to make himself… memorable.
Noah unlocked the door and gave a quick knock as he pushed it open.
“Hey, Fred! We’re coming in.”
“No…NO! Are you fucking kidding me?! This game is so broken!”
Fred’s character collapsed on-screen as he banged his fist on the keyboard furiously. The glow of the monitor bathed his already pale face, making him look even thinner than Rachel remembered. His hoodie sleeves swallowed half his hands. When they entered, he tugged his headset down around his neck and looked at them as if they’d materialized out of thin air.
“Oh. It’s you guys…” Fred said, snorting down what sounded like a large mass of phlegm.
Rachel forced a polite smile. “Hey, Fred. Is it cool if we hang here?”
He made no attempt to hide his trailing eyes.
“Yeah, sure,” he said. “As long as you’re okay with some masculine energy. I don’t filter myself.”
Noah glanced at Rachel, who was clearly fighting back a smile.
“I think I can handle it,” Rachel said playfully.
She followed Noah to his bed and sat beside him, pressing her body against his as they watched Fred turn back to his game.
Sensing his newfound audience, Fred’s posture straightened. His hands moved rapidly with his mouse and keyboard as he cursed under his breath. The first-person view on the screen jerked and spun, snapping from target to target in a way Rachel could barely follow. She had no idea how he made sense of it, and had to admit there was something unusually entertaining about the intensity.
As quickly as the game started, it was over. Fred leaned back and sighed as the leaderboard appeared on screen.
“You two have been here a lot lately,” Fred said, restarting the match. “Is Rachel’s place fucked up or something?”
Rachel shrugged. “We just wanted a change of pace. Plus, this place is cozy.”
Fred snorted. “Guess so.”
He leaned forward, spine curving as his nose nearly touched the screen. His teeth clenched with every shot missed. He wasn’t ugly, exactly. More unfinished. If it wasn’t for his abrasive personality, he might even be cute. But instead, Fred chose to build who he was around endless alpha-male content he watched online. And unfortunately, it showed.
He died again.
“Bro, they are stream-sniping me! What the fuck!” he shouted. Rachel glanced at his second monitor and noted his streaming chat. No one was watching.
“You keep running out into the open, man,” Noah said with a laugh. After dying again, Fred sighed loudly and shut the game off, turning to Noah.
“I’m sorry, who is platinum, you or me?”
“You,” Noah said, humored by the question.
“Exactly,” Fred said, his foot tapping wildly. He glanced over at Rachel, eyes trailing down to her cleavage as he snorted again.
“So, not to be weird, but…” He spun his chair halfway toward them, his bare foot dragging on the stained throw rug beneath him. “There’s been talk.”
Rachel’s heart raced as she looked at Noah, both seeming to know exactly where this conversation was going.
“Such as?” she said.
“I think you know…” Fred replied, foot tapping violently.
“I don’t, actually. Please, enlighten me,” Rachel said.
Fred scoffed as he scratched the patchy beard on his neck.
“People keep saying you… get around with guys in our circle.”
“Our circle?” Noah interjected.
“Everyone’s a part of my circle. I’m well connected.” He spoke with an unbelievable level of arrogance.
“Wow, well, I’ll have to let Jack know that,” Noah said with a smile.
Fred rolled his eyes. “So is it true or what?”
Noah let out a tired sigh.
“Fred,” he said mildly.
Fred lifted his hands. “What? I’m not being a dick. I’m just fucking asking. You know I’m direct, dude. If the rumors are bullshit, just say they’re bullshit.”
“We’re not going to talk campus gossip with you,” Rachel said.
Fred glanced at her with a crooked grin.
“You’re not denying it though…”
“Or… I’m not interested in entertaining gossip about myself,” Rachel countered with a sharp smile.
Fred stared expressionlessly, then turned back to his computer screen. Nodding as if he’d just confirmed a deep suspicion.
“Right. Sure. Totally,” he said agitatedly, quickly starting a new match. Rachel glanced at Noah, pleased to see he was just as amused as she. He moved closer to her side, rubbing her back gently as Fred let out another rage-filled rant.
“You’re so good at that,” Rachel said, squeezing Noah’s thigh playfully.
“Well, I’ve had some practice,” Noah said.
Fred’s eyes flicked back to them mid-round, his gaze fixing on Rachel once more. It was hungrier this time. She watched his eyes linger on her breasts as his jaw clenched. She’d seen the look many times before from countless other men. But Fred was different. There was an energy to his libido. Like he’d been storing up fantasies for years and was imprinting them onto Rachel in real time.
She was struck, briefly, by the thought that he’d likely never been with anyone. And suddenly, his frustrated and tense personality made sense. He’d never let that energy go anywhere but into games, doom scrolling, and… other late-night activities.
Rachel entertained the idea of being his first. It was… strange. Unlike Jack’s friends, Rachel wasn’t exactly… attracted to Fred. He was inexperienced, desperate, rude, and hungry. His egotistical rants were a cover for his obvious insecurities. A small fortress built to contain him in his small world.
And, without invitation, came the fantasy.
Rachel and Fred were alone in the dorm.
Fred stood awkwardly from his chair, undoing his pants too quickly as Rachel slowly lay back in his small bed. He climbed on top of her, his skinny body pressing into hers as he hesitantly began to squeeze her breasts. She watched the lust fill his eyes as his fingers dug into her flesh.
She moaned encouragingly, letting him know it was all right. Letting him know she was his. She imagined Noah watching from the other bed, his eyes filled with that familiar mix of shock and arousal as he stroked himself.
She watched Fred suck on her tits as he ripped her pants off, wildly lining himself up with her entrance. He used her like his own personal fuck toy. Ramming into her without ceremony, moaning loudly as he finally got to have the thing he wanted so badly. He reenacted the countless porn videos he’d watched over the years, expecting her to act just like they did.
And Rachel would. She’d shout, moan, and ride Fred like he always imagined. She’d watch his eyes roll back into his head as he pumped relentlessly into her. Finally cumming deep inside her once he couldn’t take it any longer.
Rachel bit her lip at the idea of letting him do it as much as he wanted. For as long as he wanted.
Noah’s face would be absolutely priceless if she did.
Then, like an abrupt gust of wind, Mel slid into her mind. She entered the room, pulling Noah away as Fred pinned her to the mattress. She gave Rachel a devilish wave with her fingers as they left the room.
Heat climbed Rachel’s throat quickly as she blinked the fantasy away.
She shifted, running her finger nervously across scratchy sheets. Noah’s hand slipped against hers. She grabbed it while giving him a gentle smile.
Fred died again. “Jesus fuck!”
He exhaled and pushed away from the desk, swinging the chair around fully this time.
“So, look,” he said, leaning in as if they were at a negotiation table. “Let’s just say, hypothetically, that these rumors were true… it would make sense that I would get to be a part of it, right? I’m like your guys’ best friend, and I’ve done a lot to help make sure you both found a place here at Godfrey.”
“Oh, I wasn’t aware,” Rachel said playfully as Noah laughed.
“Laugh all you want big man, at the end of the day. I’m a valuable asset, and you know it.”
Noah sighed, ‘Fred, what are you getting at?”
“Look, all I’m saying is that I’d be respectful. I’d pay my dues and get in line. But I feel once we’ve established things, it would probably make sense for me to have first dibs. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t be weird about it, either.”
“Fred, as much as I like you, this has got to be the strangest proposition I’ve ever heard,” Noah said with a half-smile.
“I think my favorite part was the first dibs,” Rachel chimed in. They laughed together as Fred’s face went beet red.
“Look, I’m just trying to be respectful. I get you might want the Jock’s because they’re high value, but it’s fucked up that only they get a turn.”
“Oh my god, Fred! Really? A turn??” Rachel said.
“What?! Are you telling me it’s not true? I bet a thousand dollars that if I were fucking six three, jacked, and a perfect Chad, you would’ve already been fucking me.”
“Are you suggesting I’m just trying to fuck all the hottest guys at Godfrey?”
“Uh, yeah? Isn’t that the whole fucking point? He’s not giving you what you want, right?” Fred said, pointing to Noah.
“Hey! Don’t bring me into this,” Noah countered.
“Come on, man. You’re not that different from me. Honestly, it makes sense. There’s no way she’d stay with you unless you let her off the leash.”
Fred talked like Rachel wasn’t even in the room. Whatever amusement she’d felt changed into disgust.
“Fred,” Rachel said flatly, “If the rumors were true, talking like this would be the fastest way to make sure you are never considered. By anyone.”
Fred hesitated and glanced at Noah.
“Don’t look at me, you got yourself into this mess,” Noah said. Fred sulkingly shrank into his chair.
“Whatever, I was just asking. Don’t have to be a dick about it…”
Rachel studied him. For all the bravado, there was an equal measure of selfish insecurity. The mix of arrogance and resignation sat oddly in her chest. With a sigh, she waved him off.
“You’re fine. But in the future, maybe don’t lead with requests to fuck your friend’s girlfriend,” she said.
He nodded. “Cool. Yeah. Thanks for the lesson.”
He twirled in his chair and turned his game back on.
And slowly, the tension in the air eased.
Fred settled down. His voice dropped a notch and lost its edge. Noah started telling one of his favorite stories about their unhinged data science professor, who insisted that his gambling addiction was for mathematical research. Fred jumped in to correct him, nitpicking details and reconstructing the story like a cross-examination. Rachel laughed when Noah rolled his eyes.
And for a few minutes, it was easy.
But the undercurrent of Fred’s desire never left.
His eyes kept drifting to the curves of Rachel’s body before snapping back to his monitor like he’d been scalded.
Rachel ignored it the best she could, resting her head on Noah’s shoulder as they rested against a hastily built wall of pillows.
And as she listened to the clacking of Fred’s keyboard, his words came back to her uninvited.
There’s no way she’d stay with you unless you let her off the leash.
The phrase felt like sandpaper against her skin. She pictured what it must look like from the outside, realizing how easily people filled in the blanks. She wondered how many were like Mel. Thinking she was mistreating Noah and had manipulated him into this situation. She wondered if others saw her as a bullet to be dodged. A piece of trash to use. A woman you had a turn with, but didn’t commit to.
She wondered if Noah saw her the same way, too.
Her chest tightened as Fred died again, exploding into another rant.
“Hey,” Rachel said to Noah. “I think I’m going to head out.”
“Alright,” Noah said, jumping to his feet. “I’ll walk with you.”
Fred lifted a hand without looking back.
“Later…” he said flatly as the two slipped into the hallway.
The door closed behind them, and Rachel let out a deep breath. The fluorescent lights hummed overhead as they walked through the silent hallway and entered the cinderblock stairwell.
“Fred was a little bolder today,” Noah said as they descended, voice echoing against the sickly yellow walls.
“The man needs to get out more,” Rachel answered.
Noah laughed. The sound eased the tightness in Rachel’s chest.
“He’s been getting into that red-pill crap lately.”
She groaned. “Stop.”
“I’m serious.”
Rachel shook her head, grimacing. “God, he is so icky.”
She stopped at the bottom landing.
“It’s not true, by the way.”
Noah raised an eyebrow. “What’s not true?”
“That I’m fucking other men because you’re not enough,” Rachel said. Noah gently grabbed her hand.
“If I asked you to stop, would you?”
“Of course I would,” Rachel said without hesitating.
Noah smiled. “And that’s how I know it’s not true.”
Rachel smiled before looking down at the floor.
“You’re too good to me,” she said.
“I could say the same about you,” Noah answered. Then gave her a sideways look. Rachel smirked.
“What?” She asked.
“I have a question I’m afraid to ask,” he said.
“About what?”
“Fred.”
Rachel raised an eyebrow. “Go on…”
“Would you ever… You know. Take him up on the offer?”
Rachel laughed involuntarily.
“Oh my god!” She looked at him for a moment. “Do you want me to?!”
He shrugged.
“Maybe. I don’t know.” He moved closer, smiling playfully. “I mean… we haven’t really done any messing around lately.”
She laughed quietly through her nose.
She wanted to be good. She dreamed about being normal.
But when they talked like this, it felt like a drug.
“Is someone getting restless?” Rachel asked.
“Aren’t you?”
Rachel fixed her hair. “Maybe.”
They stared at one another hungrily.
“Ethan’s been texting me, by the way,” Noah said.
Rachel’s heart skipped. “And?”
“And he wants to meet up with you again.”
“He’s trouble.” The answer jumped out of Rachel before she could temper it.
“Not if we call the shots.”
She scoffed, pushing lightly at his shoulder. “God, you are such a pervert!”
Noah tried to contain a bashful smile.
“I’m just saying,” he continued, voice settling lower. “It might be fun to see you… toy with him a little.”
Instinctively, Rachel’s eyes wandered down Noah’s body. Stopping on the unmistakable bulge forming against the front of his jeans.
“You want me to put him in his place, babe?” she asked. Noah pressed against her.
“I mean… don’t you?”
She exhaled, fixing her hair behind one ear.
“I won’t lie… yes.”
Silence wrapped around them as Noah wrapped his hand around her hips tightly. A distant door slammed on the floor above, causing the lights to flicker. He leaned in just enough that she could feel the warmth of his breath.
“Then maybe you should text him back, and make sure to film whatever happens,” he said.
Rachel felt her body swell with heat.
“You’re trouble,” She said.
“So are you.”
She laughed softer than she meant to.
“I gotta go, I’ll text you later,” she said. Then Rachel leaned forward, kissed him, and slipped away to the exit.